Monday, October 18, 2010

The Shake Down

The Shake Down is not recommended for the novice Baby Bad Ass.  It's a multi tiered tactic of the highest complexity.  Precise timing and stealth judgement is necessary to be successful, and should you fail, you may never get a second chance at it. (seriously you need like mad skills to pull this off)  Your goal, to obtain all the Mama's most cherished items in one chaotic foul swoop.  This Rad move can be used in combination with The Starfish and Floppy Baby if needed.  First you need to have all your ducks in a row, the Mama has to be tired, she needs to have all her valuables on her person (you, the car keys, cell phone, wallet, the necklace that drives you nuts), and there needs to be an offensive receptacle present for her to try to put you down in, it's also helpful if she has to go to the bathroom really bad. This maneuver is most effective when just getting home after a long day out and about. First, wait till the Mama is fumbling to coordinate her valuables when entering the house then start fidgeting with her necklace, then as she's approaching the closest offensive receptacle to unload you into throw a grand tantrum that incorporates a combination of all your rad moves! she'll be so focused on not dropping you she'll never know what hit her!  If properly carried out you can have the complete contents of her wallet all over the floor and the sunglasses under the sofa (for you to retrieve later), and set off the car alarm in a matter of seconds :) 

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